A week and a half ago it all started with a random panic attack... completely out of the blue and no known trigger. I took my anti-anxiety meds and all was well - or so I thought. The next couple days I could feel the depression sinking its ugly way into my life again. I called my doctor's nurse and let her know I know my doctor is on maternity leave but I needed to see someone, and soon. I was having terrible thoughts - thoughts I'd rather not admit to so openly, but rest assured they were bad!
While they couldn't get me in for two weeks, I was grateful they could get me in at all - trying to get an immediate Psych appointment at Kaiser is next to impossible. The nurse told me to continue taking the anti-anxiety meds to help control the depression as needed. So I did as I was told - and I found myself having to take the meds at least once or twice a day... I was quickly running out so I called in a refill to the pharmacy and left a message with the nurse that I needed a refill.
The nurse calls me back and says they approved the refill but now I needed to come in and see a doctor sooner than my scheduled appointment because I was taking too much medicine. Seriously? It's not like I was abusing it - I was taking it as needed... apparently I was taking too many pills - but the medicine wasn't working at the prescribed dose (which I already told my doctor about) - so I took as many pills until it started working which ended up being 5 pills.
Don't fret - the pills are only .5mg and the maximum dose is like 8mg or something - so I was only taking 2.5mg - not a big deal, right? At least I didn't think so - apparently the nurse is starting to freak out and now I have to haul myself in to the doctor to discuss it. It's not my fault the medicine only works in a higher dose - afterall isn't that why they have a maximum dose - because it takes a different potency for different people?
Well - when I called the pharmacy to make sure I could pick up the medicine before the weekend they told me they needed a call from the doctor's office first. Great, there went my chance of getting it before the weekend... and thus began a crappy weekend. Yesterday I was an emotional wreck. I cried half the day - then ended up with a terrible headache that not even my strongest pain med would take away. Today I'm not as bad, but still in a crummy mood... I asked hubby if we could go do something - he said yes, but asked me what I wanted to do - of course I have no idea... ok, well, I do want to go for sushi but hubby isn't into sushi and the last time we went he wanted to leave early and I didn't have a chance to really get my sushi fix on! Sushi is my comfort food - and I could really use a little comfort right now!
Maybe I'll find an excuse to sneak off and I'll go have sushi alone... that actually sounds like a good idea. *evil snicker*