Sunday, February 13, 2011

Depression Sucks!

A week and a half ago it all started with a random panic attack... completely out of the blue and no known trigger. I took my anti-anxiety meds and all was well - or so I thought. The next couple days I could feel the depression sinking its ugly way into my life again. I called my doctor's nurse and let her know I know my doctor is on maternity leave but I needed to see someone, and soon. I was having terrible thoughts - thoughts I'd rather not admit to so openly, but rest assured they were bad!

While they couldn't get me in for two weeks, I was grateful they could get me in at all - trying to get an immediate Psych appointment at Kaiser is next to impossible. The nurse told me to continue taking the anti-anxiety meds to help control the depression as needed. So I did as I was told - and I found myself having to take the meds at least once or twice a day... I was quickly running out so I called in a refill to the pharmacy and left a message with the nurse that I needed a refill.

The nurse calls me back and says they approved the refill but now I needed to come in and see a doctor sooner than my scheduled appointment because I was taking too much medicine. Seriously? It's not like I was abusing it - I was taking it as needed... apparently I was taking too many pills - but the medicine wasn't working at the prescribed dose (which I already told my doctor about) - so I took as many pills until it started working which ended up being 5 pills.

Don't fret - the pills are only .5mg and the maximum dose is like 8mg or something - so I was only taking 2.5mg - not a big deal, right? At least I didn't think so - apparently the nurse is starting to freak out and now I have to haul myself in to the doctor to discuss it. It's not my fault the medicine only works in a higher dose - afterall isn't that why they have a maximum dose - because it takes a different potency for different people?

Well - when I called the pharmacy to make sure I could pick up the medicine before the weekend they told me they needed a call from the doctor's office first. Great, there went my chance of getting it before the weekend... and thus began a crappy weekend. Yesterday I was an emotional wreck. I cried half the day - then ended up with a terrible headache that not even my strongest pain med would take away. Today I'm not as bad, but still in a crummy mood... I asked hubby if we could go do something - he said yes, but asked me what I wanted to do - of course I have no idea... ok, well, I do want to go for sushi but hubby isn't into sushi and the last time we went he wanted to leave early and I didn't have a chance to really get my sushi fix on! Sushi is my comfort food - and I could really use a little comfort right now!

Maybe I'll find an excuse to sneak off and I'll go have sushi alone... that actually sounds like a good idea. *evil snicker*

1 comment:

  1. Sorry to hear depression is sneaking back in! You can always go to Urgent care and explain the situation, and they will give you a short-term prescription to get through the weekend.

    Be gentle with yourself- go buy a magazine or a new book, go to a sushi place, enjoy yourself for a couple hours. Come home and have a long, hot bubble bath, or put your feet up and watch a movie. Tell your littles that mommy needs extra care, she isn't feeling well, and that they get to help you by taking care of each other. Kids love that kind of thing. ;)



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