Wednesday, October 26, 2022

Wednesday Weigh-In - 10/26/22

 

This week's Wednesday weigh-in will be short and sweet.  

Following is the breakdown of my weekly workouts...

Thursday 10/20 - 30 min walk & 15 min Zumba

Friday 10/21 - 30 min walk 

Saturday 10/22 - 35 min walk & 20 min yoga

Sunday 10/23 - 15 min walk & 32 min Zumba

Monday 10/24 - 31 min walk & 18 min yoga & 24 min walk (I went on two walks, once in the morning, and another walk in the evening)

Tuesday 10/25 - 30 min walk

Wednesday 10/26 - 35 min walk & 20 min strength training (BodyPump)

My Les Mill equipment arrived today - hooray!  I was so excited that I squeezed in a 20 min session after my cardio workout at the gym.  I definitely felt some tension in my back because I don't use those muscles very much and I sit a lot -- but with time I know I'll build strength in my back so it won't hurt as much.  

Following is my weigh in...

Last week's weight: 284.8

This week's weight: 288.0

I weighed in heavier this morning, but I know this is just my body adjusting to all of the changes between my diet and exercise.  I'm not discouraged by the temporary increase.  I'm in this for the long haul! 


Friday, October 21, 2022

A Treat for Myself

 


So, I did a thing yesterday.  I splurged on the Les Mills BodyPump Bundle!  

I want to start incorporating strength training into my workouts, but feel like I'm at a loss for how to do it.  I'm not comfortable using the weight machines at the gym.  And, after my meeting with the fitness director yesterday, I discovered that personal training is WAY outside of my budget.  

Then I remembered that I always loved taking the Les Mills BodyPump classes that 24 Hour Fitness offered.  Unfortunately, my new gym, LA Fitness, doesn't offer any of the Les Mills programs.  

The good news is that Les Mills offers an on-demand program I can do from home!  It was a bit of an investment, but I'm worth it!  I can't wait to get my equipment so I can get started.  

Wednesday, October 19, 2022

Wednesday Weigh-In - 10/19/22

It's been a week since I decided to put myself and my health first.  I'm a testament to what a difference a week can make!  

Last week I shared that my first time out for a walk was excruciating.  Anyone else probably would have given up being in that amount of pain.  But, the next day, I got back out there again and went for another shorter walk.  I avoided the hill down the road and walked back and forth on the flat portion of the road.  That walk was just as painful as the first day, but it was shorter only 25 minutes.  

Being the rebel I am, I went for another walk the day after.  By the third day, I was still in pain, but I noticed only one side of my back/hip hurt, not both sides... and I shaved off an entire 2 minutes on the same walk as the day before.  

On the fourth day, I went for another walk outside because the hubster hadn't had the chance to add me to the gym membership.  I shaved another minute off my walk and wasn't in as much pain as the days prior.  PROGRESS!!!  

Initially, I said I would only exercise 3 days a week because I wanted to set realistic goals with my busy schedule.  However, now that I got started, I want to keep up the momentum.  

The hubster added me to the gym membership on Saturday afternoon, so I went to the gym on Sunday.  I had hoped that going in when they opened (8 am) would mean there wouldn't be many people.  It may seem silly, but I'm very self-conscious about exercising in front of others when I'm this big.  

I did a walk on the treadmill; the treadmill is easier than walking outside because I can regulate my speed better, and there's a cushioned platform.    I found that when I walked faster, it aggravated my back/hip pain.  So, I lowered the pace and could walk for 30 minutes.  Afterward, I treated myself to 20 minutes in the sauna.  Thankfully, they have a separate women's sauna, so I felt more comfortable.

Monday and Tuesday, I take my son to speech therapy in the late afternoon/early evening.  Instead of sitting in the car waiting for him for 30 minutes, I opted to walk and make the most of the time.  

On Tuesday, I went on two walks, one in the morning before work and another in the evening while I waited for my son.  To my pleasant surprise, during my morning walk, my pain level was very low, and I could walk a bit further and include a few hills.  The evening walk was a little uncomfortable, but not what it's been in the days' priors.  I'm making more progress!  

Tonight I went to the gym after work.  I had an appointment with the fitness director to go over my goals and do a baseline assessment of where I'm at.  Ultimately, their goal was to sell me personal training; my goal was to find out how much.  

An hour and a half later, and some humbling tears after the baseline assessment (which I failed miserably), the price tag was over $500 a month for twice a week training for only 30 minutes.  Sadly, that's just a little too rich for my blood.  Even at just one time per week I was quoted $350.  

While I would love to work with a personal trainer to build a strength workout routine, I'm just going to have to DIM - do it myself.  

Afterwards, I stayed for a workout.  I walked on the treadmill for 15 minutes until their Zumba class started, I figured I would give it a try.  The class was okay, I stayed for 30 minutes.  I'm a bit of a Zumba snob having taught it for a few years.  I like a wide variety of music and dance routines, so that was a bit lacking in tonight's class.   

Wow, what a whirlwind week, eh?

Now, to the highlight...  after weighing myself this morning, one week into my journey and I'm down a whopping 9.8 pounds!  I went from 294.6 to 284.8!  

I know the weight isn't going to continue to come off in such high numbers.  There will be weeks when I may only lose a half pound or nothing at all.  I'm in this for the long haul!

Monday, October 17, 2022

The Labels We Carry


Every week, the Executive Director for one of the schools I work for sends a Monday Motivation email.  There's always a positive, uplifting message to take away.  This week's post was a VIDEO that made me cry because I had just been thinking about this very idea yesterday as I went to the gym for the first time.  For the first 15 minutes all I could focus on were the demons in my head telling me that everyone was judging me and how pathetic I must have looked.  

Instead of continuing to get caught up in the negative thoughts about what others may or may not think, I decided to shut out those thoughts and replace them with positive ones; it made a big difference!

We all carry negative thoughts and self-doubt, but if we could replace them with positivity instead, what a difference we can make.  What are some negative thoughts you've been carrying with you that you need to let go of?

Saturday, October 15, 2022

Because Every Picture Tells a Story


The wonderful thing about "before" photos is that I can look back and see the success of the small, repeated efforts day in and day out.  

When you have a LOT of weight to lose, it is daunting knowing it will take quite some time.  However, I want to be able to look back and share my story with others who might be in the same boat and give them hope.  

It is possible to lose a lot of weight safely and without gimmicks.  It might take time, but it took me a few years to gain the weight, so it will likely take a few years to lose it.  

It's not a race but a lifestyle change so I can be the healthiest version of myself!  


So, without further ado - here are my before photos.  I'm posting them despite how unflattering they are.        










Wednesday, October 12, 2022

You Have to Start Somewhere...

Today I hadn't expected to start over.  In fact, before I headed to the office this morning, I made a Starbucks run for breakfast and was already thinking about lunch plans.  

By mid-morning, I devoured a dozen snack-sized servings of gummy bears in an effort to drown my ever-increasing anxiety.


I would have laughed if you had asked me at 11 am if I would be starting over today.  

Then, a conversation with a fellow coworker, Sarah, this afternoon ignited a little spark of motivation.  We were gabbing in the hall for a few minutes, commiserating on how hard it is to lose weight when you have no motivation or energy to put down the bag of chips and get up and moving instead.  We both know we'll feel better if we just do it.  But, alas, the motivation keeps eluding us.

After that conversation, I got to thinking... I don't need motivation; I need determination.  Motivation is a fickle friend, but determination and grit, that will get you much farther than motivation ever will.  

I remembered what Sarah said the last we spoke, that she was going to try and go for a walk tonight.  And I half-heartedly told myself, I'm going to go for a walk too.  But the more I thought about it, the more determined I grew to go home and go for a walk.  

When I got home from work, I changed into workout clothes (a pair of sweats, a ratty t-shirt, and a 32 Degrees hoodie).  I asked my daughter if she wanted to join, and she was thrilled because she hadn't been on a walk in ages.  

While putting on my shoes, I had to choke back a panic attack when I realized the walking path would be a challenge.  Unfortunately, there's a hill on my road, and I have a reasonably steep and very long driveway I would be contending with.  

After all, I've been completely sedentary for months (*cough* years).  Just getting ready in the morning gets me winded and washing dishes leaves me with a terrible back ache.  I knew this walk wouldn't be easy. 

My daughter looked at me and said, "You have to start somewhere."  And she's absolutely right; I have to start somewhere.  It's just a walk, right?  Well... 

We set out and made it down the driveway quickly enough; it was downhill.  We headed in our usual direction down the road, also downhill.  The first 5 minutes were uneventful, and I felt fine.  Then, seemingly out of nowhere, I started feeling intense pain in my lower left hip/back.  Seriously, 5 minutes in, and I'm definitely questioning my decision.  

I talked myself into walking to the end of the road, which usually takes about 10 minutes.  However, we were 12 minutes in by the time we reached the end of the road, and to say I was in excruciating pain would be an understatement.  Both the left and right sides of my back/hips were in agony.  Every step was so painful that I told my daughter no less than a dozen times I wasn't sure if I would make it back home. 

I continued on because the reality was I did need to get back home, and I wasn't about to call my husband to come to pick me up; however, the thought did cross my mind more than once.  I took a short break every other minute and then kept trudging on.  

I knew I was walking at a snail's pace, but the important thing was to keep walking, one foot in front of the other, until I made it back home.  The hill up the road didn't make it easier, coupled with the sun blaring down on me.  The weather showed it was only 76˚, but it felt more like 106˚; I was drenched in sweat and beet red-faced.  

I made it back home, huffing and puffing and barely able to walk through the front door.  But I made it!  

I immediately tried to stretch and foam roll some of the pain away.  I had to pull out my Chinese cupping tools because I knew nothing else would relieve this pain, and I didn't want to resort to my painkillers.  

A session of the cups followed by a long soak in the jacuzzi tub, and I felt much better.

So, now that I've gotten started, my goal is to find an exercise I can do that's not going to leave me in such horrific pain.  

I asked my husband to add me to his gym membership so I could walk on the treadmill at the gym.  I could do that without triggering the immense pain the outside walk left me feeling.  I just have to build up my endurance.  

I want to start Zumba again.  The gym has classes I might be able to make once or twice a week.  I could also do all of my old routines but with much less range of motion and intensity.  That should give me a little variety as I work my way back into a workout schedule. 

I will start exercising at least 3 days per week until I get more stamina.  Then I will switch to 5 days per week, no excuses.

Slow and steady!  I can do this because I'm determined!  Who's with me?

My Great Depression and Hitting Rock Bottom

It's been years since I've given this blog any thought.  What exactly have I been up to
for the past 8 years?  
I've been surviving all kinds of madness.

In 2014 I had successfully lost half my body weight.  When I started, I was 276 pounds and I got down to 136 pounds.  I was an entirely new person after having lost my excess weight.  I kept it off for 2.5 years, yo-yoing 15-20 pounds from time to time.  

Then, in early 2017 was my Great Depression.  I nearly got divorced because my husband found out some secrets I had been keeping from him (debt and me teaching Zumba/fitness classes).  Thankfully, by Allah's mercy, we stayed together and got through the rough patch.

However, it was not without consequences.  I went into a terrible depression because I was no longer teaching Zumba/fitness classes.  It was the one thing I absolutely loved to do and it brought me so much joy and connection with people from all walks of life.  The hubster was not on board with me continuing for his own personal religious convictions; convictions I didn't share but probably should have.

I started a new job in late 2016 and by early 2017 things were taking off.  I was promoted a couple of times and found myself burying my grief and dissatisfaction  in my new roles.  I oftentimes worked round the clock, 80+ hours a week.  I also buried my grief in food. I did that for 5 years.

My weight crept back up in what seemed like increments, I went from 150 to 175, 200, 225, 250, 275, 285...

Today I find myself at a whopping 294.6 pounds.  I don't recognize myself.  I don't even feel like myself anymore.  

How in the world did I let myself go this far.  I am mentally berating myself over and over for not stopping the destructive behavior and habits sooner. The many times I started to get back on track only to give up after a few weeks or months. 

If only I had kept going, I wouldn't be where I find myself now. Rock bottom is painful and raw.  But I have to start somewhere...